Fish Bait Read online

  Not too thick Alice, the boys turning greener by the second.

  The poor baby.

  “Forty-sixty. Take it or leave it.”

  “Take it.”

  “You won’t go back on your word?”

  “No… Alice, please.”

  “You’re sweet Dillian Coleman. A bit slow though. Hmm, I’ll take those packs now; you poor green thing. Lean your head over the side, yes like this.”

  “I hate you.”

  “You don’t hate me. You hate the water. Take slow deep breaths.”

  “They told me you were a shy, easy, quiet person.”

  “I am… usually.”

  “Ha!”

  “Feeling better?”

  “I’ll feel better when you… sign the papers.”

  “I’ll need to read them. I don’t sign anything unless I read it.”

  “Fine. Read them… so I can go.”

  “Hold your head still. Dillian, I can’t take the papers.”

  “Why… not?”

  “I don’t bring reading glasses on a boat, they might fall over broad.”

  “Women.”

  * * *

  Chapter Four: The Plot begins...again?

  “Jamie, go ahead and see if your friend’s need any help. I have some business to discuss with Charley.”

  “What kind of business?”

  “Never you mind.”

  “Don’t you threaten him.”

  “Baby cakes do as you’re told.”

  “I’m watching you Alex.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “I mean it. No fishy stuff.”

  “Cross my heart and hope to cry.”

  “I mean it. I’ll give you something to worry about. Capesh?”

  “Sweat heart, you really need your nails trimmed.”

  “You’re impossible.”

  “I try to be. Charley, wait up!”

  “If looks could kill, you’d be roast chicken bud. I don’t think she’s done poking you Alex.”

  “Love taps Charley… listen, about this trip, where exactly are we going?”

  “Way out.”

  “Could you be more specific?”

  “Well Alex, its fair game through the weekend. Get my drift?”

  “Lay off on Jamie, she’s mine.”

  “Fair warning.”

  “Who exactly is coming with us?”

  “Alice and… you ever wanted to shanghai someone for the fun of it?”

  “Friend or foe?”

  “Foe.”

  “Charley, I like how you think. What’s your plan?”

  * * *

  “See Dillian, your feeling better already.”

  “Alice, we really need to talk the specifics out and put on paper. Mike’s really going to kill me for this.”

  “Your collars crooked, hold still. Anything you need to say to me, can be said here.”

  “A restaurant would be better. Somewhere cozy and quiet, some place we could know each other a little more, then maybe… I won’t feel like running for cover every time you come by.”

  “I’m not that bad.”

  “No, you're worse.”

  “Well, you’ll just have to get us to it, Dillian. Here comes Charley and hmm… she did bring a friend.”

  Great Dill, more interruptions.

  Alice is just one interruption after another.

  Because that’s what Alice is… short, blonde, and cute. All in all, a pain in my…

  “Alice, who is that man?”

  “Hmm? Jamie’s friend, rather nice looking, don’t you think?”

  If you go for the tall, dark and stupid kind, what is he doing here?!

  He’s not supposed to be here.

  “Behave Dillian, your getting that cynical look again. Hey guys! Dillian, meet Jamie and her friend?”

  “Alex.”

  “Hello… Alex.”

  “Nice meeting you Dill. Turn around.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Turn around.”

  BUNK!

  “Alex! What you do that for? I think you hurt him.”

  “He’ll live.”

  * * *

  “So where exactly is our destination again?”

  “Don’t worry Charley; I know where we’re going.”

  “And you say this is the best place to relax?”

  “Oh yes, everything your heart desires is here.”

  “I like specifics.”

  “Great view, great surf, as many steaks as you want, girls to cater to, all day long.”

  “Tell me about the girls.”

  “Shut up Charley!”

  “Their like Hawaiian girls, right?”

  “You guys make me sick!”

  “Their better looking and quieter.”

  “Sounds grand.”

  “You think it’s safe to untie them Charley?”

  “Let me see. Hmm. Nope. Give them another half hour. Dill’s coming to.”

  “Good. You keep with the course. I’ll take care of Dillian.”

  “You stay away from him, Alex! He’s innocent in this scheme. Why can’t you pick on someone your own size? Are you listening to me? You’re not going to get those numbers even if you… you.”

  “Calm down Sweet stuff, I’m not going to hurt him or you for that matter. I’m just going to take him some place quieter.”

  “Then untie us already.”

  “Are you ready to behave?”

  “You are no Gentleman.”

  “Oh I am Jamie, and as soon as I take care of Dillian, I’ll take care of you.”

  “You stay way from me!”

  “Gorgeous, you have no vote in this matter.”

  “That’s why they invented impeachments.”

  “Darling dear, you have to elect me first.”

  * * *

  “Ugh, now I know what a butt end of a gun feels like.”

  “Here Dill, put this icepack on. I didn’t hit hard, only tapped you a little. You watch too many westerns.”

  “I hate westerns. My kid brother love’s them, only a tap? Ha! What are you doing here?”

  “I’m kidnapping Jamie and doing a little business. Two birds with one stone, you know. I happen to love John Wayne.”

  “You can have him. Alex, what kind of business? You’re supposed to be in charge until Mike gets back and we both know Rick is on vacation, so why here? Why kidnap Jamie, she works for us?”

  “Jamie and I are meeting some business associates. Head feel better?”

  “You hit me.”

  “Had to… it seems to me, you’re not very welcome around here. Charley wanted to maroon you on a deserted island.”

  “You're not supposed to hit the messenger.”

  “Who says? I convinced Charley to take us to Mr. Salvador’s place. We’re meeting at a little island south of here.”

  “You’re kidding me, the rival enemy? No way. No way will Mike go for this.”

  “I’m convinced he will. The plans set. I drew up a proposition and Mr. Salvador wants to see it. Jamie’s coming to take notes and you… why are you here again?”

  “Messenger’s always get forgotten. I brought the final papers for Alice to sign.”

  “She hasn’t signed them yet?”

  “No. She’s being difficult.”

  “Hmm. Cheer up, at least you’re not being erased.”

  * * *

  “Great catch Jamie. Where did you meet this guy again? The rain forest? The Sahara desert? The age of men verses women faded centuries ago and in came equals.”

  “He isn’t invisible Alice, only determined.”

  “Ah ha, determined to tie us up to the mast and recruit Charley.”

  “Shh, I don’t want Charley to here this. Truthfully, he did kidnap me. I out smarted him by bringing him here, with the fool hope of dumping him off somewhere. Only my plan back fired and here we are.”

  “We’re not a quitter Jamie. We’ll think of something to get out o
f this. Why did he kidnap you?”

  “He wanted the combination to the safe. I stole it from him and now he’s getting his revenge.”

  “Then give it to him and call Mike ahead of time.”

  “It’s not that simple. I swallowed the paper, besides I need to find out what he plans to do with the information if he had the combination.”

  “Are you planning to follow him?”

  “To the ends of the earth.”

  “Oh. Well… can you do us both a favor? Promise me you won’t swallow the paper again.”

  “Promises, promises, think Alice, you gained a boyfriend in this ordeal.”

  “I did not.”

  “Did so. He’s tall, dark, and green and he happens to be named after an herb.”

  “He’s seasick Jamie.”

  “Oh? Well it’s a start, right?”

  “Right.”

  * * *

  Chapter Five: Who has the Plot

  “Whatever you do Alex, play it safe. You don’t know Jamie like I do, when you tag this fish, this fish bites.”

  “You worry too much Charley. I went deep sea fishing before. I qualify with plenty of experience.”

  “It’s not enough. See how composed Jamie is? It’s a sure sign of complications and headaches. I been their bud, it’s not worth it. When you left, they started conspiring to each other.”

  “Their pussycats Charley, if their conspiring to each other, it’s because we’re near water. Cats hate water.”

  “Are you kidding? Alex, water is the least of their worries. Their catfish Alex, and as far as their concerned, we’re mud! So sweet talk them, will you? I still want to be friends with the enemy.”

  “Too late Charley, you joined ranks with the mud dobbers.”

  “Well… at least the island has other girls for me to catch.”

  “Yep, keep reminding yourself Charley, beautiful, sexy girls.”

  “Beautiful, sexy girls.”

  “And great waves. I’m taking Jamie to the back for a little one and one.”

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you Alex.”

  “I’m fully warned.”

  * * *

  Recording:

  Time: 1:30 PM

  Location: south, five miles from inland.

  Processing negotiations with client.

  Agreed to 60/40 percentage.

  Will need to rewrite new negotiations and notarized.

  Details will be discussed thoroughly with the best interest of the company.

  This is Dillian Coleman.

  Recording off.

  Short of being shanghaied Dillian; at least Alice can’t hide from me.

  Nor weasel out on me like she did with Mr. Gorilla Chief.

  I must be desperate or completely insane.

  Only a desperate person would be attracted to a girl who has friends like Tarzan and Godzilla.

  Yep… I’m completely insane.

  Scratch that.

  Tarzan’s on my side.

  Or he better be.

  No more sweet talk and wild goose chases for me, no sir.

  I don’t care what side Alex is on, but it better be on mine.

  I hope he’s on the winning team if he wants me to follow his lead.

  If not…

  I’ll shoot him.

  Something quick and fast.

  No, scratch that.

  Something slow and agenizing.

  I’ll give him a taste of his own medicine.

  Twice.

  Yep, I’m a desperate man alright.

  I can always amuse myself in the sweet luxury of wooing Alice.

  Would it be possible?

  I’m not in the dog house like those two clowns up on deck.

  No sir, I’m the good guy, the best there is.

  So why do I feel like hiding?

  It isn’t like life and death to court a girl you’re sweet on.

  Guys do this everyday of the week.

  Maybe I should arm myself.

  “Dillian?”

  Hear that Dillian?

  That’s the voice of doom.

  * * *

  Silence.

  How loudly it speaks.

  Any minute now, Jamie’s bound to crack.

  She’s dying to give me her five minute lecture.

  She simple can’t help herself.

  All I have to do is mention a few words in respect to her job and… puff!

  Alarm bells go off in her head.

  The next thing you know, we’re off to another shouting match.

  Hmm. She’s giving me the silent treatment instead.

  Typical really, being gagged and tied up to a mast, you know.

  I mean, who wouldn’t be upset?

  It was fun, though.

  I even had the chance to gag her with my handkerchief.

  I simple couldn’t help myself.

  What red blooded man wouldn’t?

  She was giving me her usual five minute lecture again.

  Screaming actually, in my poor defenseless ear, she was.

  I had to grab something to shut her up.

  Well the show must go on Alex, as they say.

  There’s an easy way to end this silence contest.

  All I have to do is push the right buttons.

  “Your right, I am a thief.”

  “Finally.”

  “A thief of hearts… Jamie, why do you keep categorizing me with criminals? There’s nothing I haven’t done a husband wouldn’t do. I’m simple exercising my husbandly rights.”

  “I pity your wife.”

  I pity your husband.

  I need my head examined.

  Who am I really convincing?

  I am a thief.

  “I’m not wasting anymore time Jamie. I need your expertise. We’re meeting a client soon and I need you to dictate notes. If my memory services me right, you did say you also have a photogenic mind.”

  “Did I say that? I’m forgetful these days, seeing as I’m still tied up; my mind tends to click off.”

  “So click it back on.”

  Maybe I should gag her again.

  She’s forever annoying me. Sometimes I just want to…

  “Sorry no batteries.”

  Strangler her.

  Yes, with my bare hands!

  Where’s the handkerchief? I know its somewhere.

  “If you untie me, I might cooperate with you. I’m a good secretary Alex and I’ll be happy to dictate anything you like, provided you yield on one thing.”

  If there’s one thing I learned, Jamie dear, it’s not to believe the big C word.

  Cooperate my foot!

  “Don’t snort at me Alex. It’s rude. Contrary to your opinion, when I promise something, I mean it… now I’ll cooperate to a certain extent, provided you don’t ditch me off your plans. I need to be near you at all times.”

  “Ah ha! So you do like my company!”

  “Just like a dog goes for a muddy shoe Alex. I certainly hope yours is clean and undefiled from any alternative motives? Considering all the evidence for and against you, I’ll try to be opened minded and…”

  “Prove me innocent or guilty as charged.”

  “Exactly.”

  “You make a better lawyer.”

  “Secretary Alex. A good Secretary.”

  “No, a royal pain.”

  * * *

  “Dillian, are you awake?”

  “Unfortunaly.”

  “I was worried about you. Alex dragged you down here. He didn’t threaten you, did he? Jamie said he kidnapped her and threatened bodily harm.”

  “Alice, I’m tougher then I look.”

  “You don’t look it. Wow. I do feel a knot. Alex hit you a good one. How many fingers do you see?”

  “Stop fussing over me and give me some air.”

  “Stay down! How many?”

  “Three.”

  “I guess your ok. I’m sorry you’re caught in this mess. Charley’s taking us to a pri
vate island where Alex is going to meet someone.”

  “What’s Alex going to do with us?”

  “He didn’t say, only we’re going to spend a few days over there. Charley’s bent on riding the waves and pestering the girls.”

  “You’re not jealous?”

  “Jealous? No… he’s a friend Dillian, nothing more. All three of us get together once a month and go sailing.”

  “Oh.”

  “Here, I’ll help you up. Stomach ache? Do you want to go back up stairs? You’ll feel better with the fresh air.”

  “Don’t worry Alice, I found the cure for sea sickness. You knock them out.”

  “Dillian, you need to keep your arm on my shoulder or I might drop you. Hey! Don’t pull away!”

  “Your shorter then me, Alice.”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  “Since we’re going to be stuck together, there’s plenty of time to rewrite the negotiations.”

  “Negotiations?”

  “Ah ha. I’m sticking to you like glue. Kind of like this. See? Now we’re nose to nose with your cute curly toes.”

  “Dillian you have exactly ten seconds to drop me.”

  “Now why would I do that? You might get hurt and then I’d have to save you.”

  “I mean it Dill.”

  “In that case… mmm… did I ever tell you how pretty you are? Mmmm…… You taste good too. Yum. I like… Ow!”

  “So sorry.”

  * * *

  Chapter Six: The Plot Bounces

  “I’m telling you Dill; don’t mess with the terrible twins. Their mean when riled.”

  “Some warning Charley, here comes’ the dock.”

  “There’s no use rubbing your shin, your going to get a nasty bruise by morning.”

  “You don’t say? What’s our chances’ of mutiny Charley? Thirty-sixty? Anybody can drive this boat.”

  “Slim chances of you driving, Alex sure knows how to drive this baby.”

  “Ya, very smooth.”

  “Hold the yellow rope we tend to bump a little. Anyway Dill, you need the motor to leave the dock and there’s only my one key. Alex is keeping it by the way.”

  “A key, huh? Well he has to go to bed some time.”