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Only a thief would know her name.

  “Ok smarty. If you’re authorized, you would know the original girls name.”

  “Alice Green.”

  * * *

  Chapter Two: The Plot Thickens

  “So Dillian, how did you get tangled up in this web?”

  “I’m just the messenger Ms. Green. I actually help test the equipment they invent.”

  “Here’s your omelet and sausage sir. Toast is on the way.”

  “Omelet? I ordered…”

  “Now, now sir, you wouldn’t insult the cook by refusing his special order, would you? We’re quite fond of our Alice. We take special care of her, always watching out for her and her friends. You are a friend of hers, aren’t you?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “No? Tis, tis. You should be friendly to our Alice. You will try, won’t you?”

  “I think she’s a nice girl.”

  “Nice. No more? You think she’s pretty?”

  Pretty.

  Hmm.

  Wavy blonde hair to her shoulders, a wisp of bang, chocolate brown eyes, hmm, long dark eyelashes.

  A rose in bloom.

  “She’s satisfactory.”

  Satisfactory?

  What a compliment Dill, and knock me on the other side of the head.

  “Here’s the toast. This is the young man, Millie? The one you warned me about?”

  “Yes honey. This is my husband, the Chief. Dillian, meet my husband.”

  “Nice to meet you, sir.”

  “Son, you haven’t taken a bit of my sausage, don’t you like it?

  Sausage?

  I’m a bacon man.

  “Fine meal sir. Your Millie’s quite a lady.”

  Quite.

  What did Alice tell these two?

  “Very good sausage, sir.”

  Spicy!

  “Um… can I have some water? The coffee’s a bit…”

  Watery?

  Cold?

  What did Alice say?!

  “Finished Alice love?”

  “Yes Millie. Thanks so much for the food. You two are the best. Dillian? Catch me when you can.”

  “Wait! You can’t leave Ms. Green, we’re not finished!”

  “Your right, Dillian boy, your omelets getting cold, Chiefs always eat their eggs. See these biceps? Good food and exercise. That’s my motto. Eat up. I don’t like waiting. I like satisfied customers.”

  Oh boy.

  Food was great here with good service.

  Now I’m eating leftovers with…

  “Flex your muscles honey. Young men these days don’t know the benefits of your good food. See son? Take a close look.”

  Oh boy.

  * * *

  “Princess, if you’re riding with me, we play by my rules.”

  “I don’t exactly get a choice, now do I?”

  “You’re learning Jamie love… now we’re driving right back to work. You’re going to act casual and smile to everybody, and then we’re calling on my desk phone to Mike. Here’s the paper I want you to read from. Got that?”

  “Use your cell phone.”

  “Sweetie, Mike doesn’t know my cell. We, experts follow the rules with no mistakes. Have you forgotten the portable? Mike carries the thing with him. The little thing records everything. It’s a darn nuisance is what it is. Now read the note aloud to me.”

  “This wont work, Mike knows me. He’ll know when I’m pretending.”

  “He would, wouldn’t he? You talk enough.”

  “He’s smart.”

  “Fine, make small talk. But remember, I’m right beside you.”

  “Do you always carry a Simi-automatic pistol with you?”

  “Get use to it Doll face, it’s my best friend.”

  “I don’t scare easily.”

  Apparently not.

  Hostages are supposed to be supportive, cooperative, and generally ugly. Instead I get an unreasonable, annoying, angelic princess with glaring eyes!

  What would she do if I kissed her?

  If only to shut her up!

  “I know how to use it Angel, so don’t tempt me.”

  “So? My dog knows how to use his teeth too. Do you want me to whistle?”

  “No. I want you to shut up and cooperate.”

  “Sign the paper with your real name and I will.”

  “How many times do I have to explain? I am authorized!”

  * * *

  Recording

  Its 8:30 AM, the next day.

  Location the East Seashore Dock.

  Subject found and located.

  I will be polite, but firm.

  Gentle of words, but to the point.

  I will…

  I will reframe tying her up.

  I will not lose my temper.

  I will…

  Recording

  I will get these papers signed.

  This is Dillian Coleman.

  Recording out

  She’s here.

  My sweet, slippery… worm.

  Oh, how she will wiggle for safety on my razor sharp hook.

  No, she won’t get away from me this time.

  This time I stole her keys.

  What kind of blonde leaves her keys in the ignition?

  What am I now?

  A thief?

  Alice Green

  My Client

  My pint size, blonde, who escapes every trap, line and bait I dangle!

  What does it take to catch this minnow?

  All I want is her signature.

  Ok, five signatures.

  One for every promise broken.

  You see, she volunteered for an experiment.

  Except my company, TICC aka Technical Information Computer Chips made a slight error.

  They grabbed the wrong girl.

  Now me.

  The paper boy, has to bring the bad news.

  Oh joy.

  Easy right?

  Search, contact, sign off.

  Not.

  This little guppy doesn’t want to get caught.

  Why I ask you?

  Because this little guppy was warned ahead of time by TICC.

  Warned!

  Contract broken.

  She will lose everything we gave her.

  Everything!

  Every promise we made broken.

  Every dollar taken away.

  Nada. Zip. Kaput.

  And we need her signatures to make it all final!

  One little thing.

  Is this so bad?

  In her book it is.

  Now she’s avoiding us.

  Me.

  Like I’m the plague or something.

  I’m the good guy, lady.

  I had no part in this deal.

  I’m just the messenger!

  * * *

  Tick, tick. Tick, tick.

  The clocks ticking Jamie.

  I can’t hold out to long.

  Hmm.

  Here’s the plan.

  First, I’ll punch the numbers really fast. He won’t notice the wrong number.

  Second, I’ll carefully reveal our exactly location. In case I need the police.

  Third, I’ll ah… ah… stay calm and speak really slowly.

  Here goes.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, its Jamie sir.”

  “Jamie? What’s taking you so long?! We’re waiting for you on the dock.”

  “It’s nice to here from you too sir… yes, I’m at work, in the second office to your right… I’m requesting permission to obtain the combination numbers to the safe.”

  “Jamie, are you listening to me? We’ve been here three hours. Why are you at work? You don’t work on Saturdays.”

  “Yes, I know I don’t… ah… sir, a Mr. Harding wants the combination again. Somehow he lost them.”

  “Combination? Jamie, I don’t work there anymore, remember? Did I tell you the latest news? TICC sent some shark my way to sign me off. Can you believe this?
What’s rightfully mine, gone. It’s like signing your death certificate. TICC just won’t let me keep it!”

  “They did?!... I mean, yes sir… you’re at the East Seashore Dock?”

  “Yes. Jamie, are you listening? I mean really listening. You’re talking very weird.”

  You don’t know half of it.

  Please Alice figure this out… before it’s too late.

  “Right sir… we’re on our way to the dock…”

  “Wait! You said we. You’re bringing someone Jamie? Does that mean your dating again?”

  “Oh boy… I mean, we’re on our way. Thanks sir!”

  Click.

  Great.

  First, I’m kidnapped.

  Now, I’m stuck with a boyfriend.

  Aaagh!

  What a tangled mess this is!

  * * *

  “Hey Charley! You tied that rope yet?”

  “Oh! Keep your shorts on, I almost got it! Wheh! We’re about ready… Jamie call yet?”

  “You won’t believe this Charley, Jamie’s dating again!”

  “No way!”

  “Yep, she just called me. She sounded a bit weird though. She kept calling me sir and saying she needed some numbers for a combination.”

  “Combination for what?”

  “I don’t know. She sounded funny.”

  “Everything’s set to go Alice, except whatever’s left on dock… ah oh. Is that the man chasing you?”

  Oh no.

  He’s back.

  “Hurry Charley! Move the rest of the stuff on board.”

  “Aren’t you going to talk to him?”

  “I don’t think so. He’s one lone shark I’d rather not tangle with. Just grab the stuff and ignore him.”

  “Sweetheart, it’s kind of hard to ignore a six-two black panther. Shall we call him Blacky?”

  “Don’t call him anything. Ignore him and he’ll go away.”

  “He’s a persistent fellow. Kind of like you. Shall we take him for a swim? I think so. What was his name again?”

  “Dillian Coleman and no…”

  “Hey Dill! Over here!”

  “Charley! Don’t you dare!”

  “Shh, hide aft.”

  Men!

  Whose side is he on?

  A deals, a deal.

  It’s not my fault TICC broke their stupid agreement.

  Men change their minds like a woman I tell you.

  It’s all a game to them.

  Always fun and games.

  And Charley’s joining the game!

  Men!

  So they want to play, do they?

  I’ll give them a play.

  A play they won’t ever forget!

  * * *

  Chapter Three: The Plot Dives

  “Dock? What dock? Jamie, what did Mike say?”

  “We’re meeting at the dock.”

  “Sweetie, if you’re playing a fast one, you are climbing up the wrong tree. I’ve negotiated enough with big corporate companies. I’m the middle man, the needle in their eye, the conniver, and best of all sweet stuff I’m…”

  Stuck on you.

  Oh yes, I’m definitely stuck on you Jamie love.

  I don’t know what it is with this woman.

  One moment I want to strangle her with my bare hands… and then I want to kiss her just to shut her up!

  I lost more time, energy and resources on her in my life time.

  Not to mention my temper.

  Now she’s sending me, the kidnapper… ha! To some dumb dock, her plans not mine, and wasting more precious time I need!

  If anything… she’s not boring.

  No, she’s one angelic firecracker… and ready to pop any second.

  “I am not your sweetie! Nor anything else! I’m…”

  “I agree with you there honey bun, your anything but sweet. No Jamie, your more like a jalapeno pepper with a dash of sweet cream cheese on a cracker. I love cheese and crackers.”

  “You’re crazy Slick. Completely nuts. I’m no jalapeno pepper. I’m Jamie, just plain Jamie. What kind of name is Slick anyway? What is your real name?”

  “I told you. Mr. Harding.”

  “No, your first name.”

  “My full name is Finnase Alexander Harding.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yes, it is quite a name honey, but I like Slick better.”

  “Slick is probably some childhood hero to you. Alex sounds much better.”

  “You have beautiful hair Jamie.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Mmm. Smells good too.”

  “Stop that… now can we go?”

  “Hmm. One moment please.”

  “What now? Let my arm go.”

  “Shh. Not yet… mmm, hello Jamie.”

  “If you’re going to kiss me, I bite.”

  “I’ll take that chance.”

  * * *

  Who is she hooked up with now, some two-legged lizard with web feet, no doubt?

  Nothing’s ever simple with Alice.

  Nothing.

  “Do I know you?”

  “Nope. You must be Dillian.”

  “And you are?”

  “Charles Dunning the first.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  I think.

  “I like your boat.”

  “Great isn’t she? We call her Ta Lula. So Dill what brings you here?”

  “I have some business with Alice Green. Do you mind getting her?”

  “Not at all! Come a board. Can you bring this backpack with you? It’s Alice’s stuff and this canvas bag? It’s a little dirty, but I like it that way. Shows character and strength! Oh wait. It won’t soil your white shirt will it?”

  Yes it will, but something’s are worse.

  Cheer up, Dill, Alice’s here.

  On a boat.

  “Where do you want these packs?”

  “Follow this yellow rope to the back.”

  “Is there anyone else here Charles?”

  “Hm? Nope, just me.”

  Good, less worry.

  No wild goose chases.

  No gorilla chiefs.

  Just me, Charles and… Alice.

  “We’re waiting for some more trouble.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I forgot. We invited two more guests.”

  Two more?

  No more surprises.

  Please.

  I hate surprises.

  “They should be here any second now, Dillian boy, so you better hurry it up.”

  Great.

  “Where do you want these packs again?”

  “Yellow rope.”

  “Right.”

  * * *

  Mmmmmm.

  Wow.

  “Jamie, you’re sighing again.”

  “Sorry.”

  “This is the dock?”

  “Yes… Alex listen… I don’t want any attachments.”

  “Why?”

  “I like being single.”

  “Figures.”

  “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

  “No your not… but you did enjoy my kiss.”

  “So we kissed. End of story. Slow down Alex and park.”

  “Do you always order your men around? Or is it just me?”

  “We’re late. Now follow me.”

  “Jamie wait! I’m not finished with this discussion.”

  “Charley! I’m so glad to see you! Charley meet Alex.”

  “Hi.”

  “Alex, don’t be a sour puss.”

  “You her boy friend?”

  “Friend.”

  “Good.”

  “Alex, will you stop? Where’s Alice, Charley?”

  “Aft.”

  “Jamie, I don’t see Mike.”

  “He isn’t here.”

  “Excuse us Charley… what do you mean he’s not here? I need those numbers Jamie.”

  “Until Mike comes back, you’re going to wait.”

  “Excuse me?”<
br />
  “Ouch! You’re squeezing too hard. I thought since I’m hostage, I might as well be hostage on this! Isn’t it grand?”

  “Grand.”

  “Come on. It will be fun. Its better then being tied up in some dusty office… your eye’s twitching. I’m making you mad, aren’t I? I can be very stubborn.”

  “Stupid you mean.”

  “If you’re going to be rude, I’m leaving you here.”

  “Not so fast, Your Highness… you forget I’m calling the shots?”

  “Oh right, you carrying the water pistol still?”

  “You can drive a man to drink.”

  “I recommend the hard stuff. It might improve your mood or knock you out.”

  “Ouch!”

  “So Charley’s a friend, huh?”

  “What are you getting at?! He’s my boy… friend.”

  “Not anymore he isn’t.”

  “I don’t like you.”

  “You’re stuck with me.”

  * * *

  Water. Land.

  Yellow rope. Wood deck.

  Bright red and green sail.

  Water. Land.

  Life preservers. Food cooler.

  Yellow rope.

  Water. Land.

  Water.

  What do I do with these packs again?

  “You again.”

  “Alice.”

  “Yep, your poor, neglected client.”

  “We need to… talk.”

  “So talk.”

  “Um… do you want these packs?”

  “Not at this moment.”

  “Well… as I was saying… you can’t keep stalling me… you can’t keep everything Alice.”

  “I’m not. I’m keeping what’s rightfully mine.”

  “Let’s negotiate… is this boat moving?”

  “What’s the deal?”

  “You keep half, we keep half.”

  “Nope. Forty-sixty.”

  “Now Alice… this is too much… the water… sixty-forty.”

  “Forty-sixty.”

  “Forty-sixty?! That’s highway robbery to us. TICC won’t like it.”

  “Forty-sixty. Take it or leave it.”

  “Darnit woman, your stubborn… TICC, oh boy… my day can’t get any worse… oh boy.”

  “Oh boy is right… I need both shoes Dill, both! I need them to survive. I don’t won’t to be walking unsteady and swaying… back and forth… day after day… night after night… wondering where to live. You know what I mean? Then theirs the cost of my electric bill and the… the food, yes the food! Why the other day Charley brought in another batch of fish to fry. Fish, I tell you, can it old! Why can’t he bring in some oysters? With red sauce, I love them with red sauce! The juice just… runs out of them and mixes so… perfectly with the sauce. Are you listening to me?”