Fish Bait Page 5
When will I learn my lesson?
I’m a man of action, a doer, a self-sufficient man without any complications, distractions, or altercations. All my carefully, planned agendas follow these simple rules. Any of my plans, I tell you.
I should have listened to my Mother.
Here comes the famous lecture again, Jamie’s so fond of giving.
I should have kept right on kissing her for the sheer fun of it… at least it would be worth it.
Mmmmm.
Lots of spice with a dab of sweet nectar, guaranteed to make a man weep in pure shame.
What I’d give to taste her sweet lips again…
“Stop grinning! Alex our relationship is through! You hear me? Through!”
“So you admit we have a relationship?”
“Ooohh! I don’t care how sweet his deal is, or if it’s ten times more money, I’m not giving you the combination Alex. Furthermore I’m leaving!”
“Jamie, I happen to like my foot… you’re leaving? Ha!”
“Read my lips… leaving… you. Got it?”
“You tell him, Jamie!”
Wonderful.
Women these days don’t fight fair, they always have to wear pointy heels.
They love echoes too.
I’m in trouble.
Hmmm.
It doesn’t help when another man of my species stands there grinning his fool head off and not caring a wit about my hide.
Ok, Buddy, you asked for it.
If I’m going to stand here under this tree and get chewed up and spit out by these two lovely ladies… so are you.
Here comes the hook Dillian buddy.
“And what do you think of this situation Dillian? What remedies have you sweet talked your deal, a trip to the top? Late dinner out to watch the sunset?”
Yep, he’s squirming alright.
Good.
“Is this true Dillian? You were bribing me? You said no strings attached! Why you… you…”
“Alice, it’s not true! Let me explain…”
“Ya right, you weasel!”
I so love making people squirm, especially my good friend Dillian.
Alex, my boy, you out done yourself.
“Don’t you touch me, Dillian, or I’ll give you one of these! You…”
Sometimes I even surprise myself, hmm, she’s a feisty one, I think its safe enough for me now, the heats off my back. What a wonderful distraction this couple makes.
Dillian and Alice can have their little pow wow here and me… hmm… and my girl can privately have ours.
Yes, every thing’s perfect.
“Ouch! Alice don’t leave! Wait a…”
Just perfect.
Bye bye, Alice, bye bye, Dillian, peace and quiet at last.
“Alex let my arm go.”
“Not yet sweetheart, you and I are not finished.”
“Oh yes we are!”
“Jamie love, one of these days you’re going to admit you liked my kiss.”
“Ha!”
“Shh… you even blinked your eyes.”
“I did n… come any closer and I scream… I mean it Alex.”
“I love your blush Jamie, very fetching.”
“Enough already, stop… nibbling my ear!”
“Mmm, cute little ears too. Ok, I believe its time to go.”
“Finally.”
“I like this tree Jamie; maybe we should carve our initials on it.”
“Don’t even think about it.”
* * *
“How’s it going Charley?”
“Great. You should try this drink, its’ called… what happened? You look like you’ve been…”
“Thru a meat grinder? I’ll take whatever he’s drinking. Keep the change… you mind if I sit here?”
“Go ahead. Nice hair, Dillian.”
“Hm? Oh it’s sticking up… nice table, you can see the water and the girls.”
“Great view huh? I love this island. I should visit more often. Women trouble?”
“Hpmt. At least I can see Alice from here.”
“You two fighting again?”
“No, we’re having a disagreement.”
“You constantly amaze me Dillian. You stick around Alice thru thick and thin. Your braver then you look.”
“Alex started the fight.”
“Hey buddy, don’t put the blame on him, I’m on his side. Mmm, taste your drink; it might relax you a little.”
“In this case Charley, he’s wrong. Alex made it seem I sweet talked Alice in order to get better on my deal.”
“Did you?”
“No! I refuse to be blamed for this when it’s not true… I feel like forgetting the whole paper business and wiping my hands clean of this mess! I should let TICC get somebody else.”
“And spend time with your girl? I don’t think you want somebody else sniffing around your girl. What you need Dillian, is a between man.”
“A what?”
“A between man, somebody to referee, he keeps the peace in situations like this.”
“Like you?”
“Yep, I’m quite a guy, very professional. I once wrestled a guy this big… for my brother’s girl, you understand. She’s a hottie and he dotes all over her. He’s shorter than me and well… kind of weak looking like you.”
“Thanks.”
“Cheer up Dillian; I’m here to save the messenger. Hero’s to the rescue!”
“Do I need saving?”
“Oh ya, you’re pathetic.”
* * *
Chapter Eight: The Plot Backfires
“I’m not the enemy, Jamie. I’m just a healthy, good looking guy trying to earn a few extra bucks.”
“Pig ugly, I’d say. TICC should fine you double for your looks. Now drop me off at the ship yard, I have a headache.”
“Imagine me with an eye patch and a saber; it might help your headache… Mr. Salvador rented some rooms for us. We’ll rest for a few hours and go from there.”
“Good. Peace and quiet for once, wait! No clothes. We need to go back and pick some up Alex and…”
“Don’t get your knickers up Jamie, I got you covered. I’m a gentleman at heart, and a gentleman always thinks ahead. I called Charley ahead of time when you were renting this car. Good taste by the way.”
“I’m still peeved at you, this is the place?”
“Yes. Not too fancy, a bit exotic, but a great view. Mr. Salvador built most of the establishments and communities on the island.”
“It’s beautiful. Look at those birds of paradise.”
“Smell those vine flowers? They grow abundant here. Here, follow me, I got the bags.”
“Their little strong smelling.”
“Sweet though.”
“Name please?”
“Mr. Harding. Mr. Salvador made the reservations for us.”
“Hmm, right. Room 312. Sign here.”
“Thank you.”
“Alex, only one room?”
“Shh, I know.”
“But its one room Alex… sir, is there another room available?”
“Hold on Jamie, don’t bother the man, it’s a Suite. Never mind sir… Jamie, can you for once do it my way?”
“If you think for one moment, I’m staying with you alone, you’re…”
“Out of my mind? I’m beginning to think so. Slow down sweet cheeks, it has two bedrooms.”
“Two?”
“Two. I like my head still attached. Look there! An outside patio with French doors, fancy that. I wonder what their gym looks like. Do you like to work out Jamie?”
“I like to swim, thank you. Now about…”
“Bikini or full suit?”
“What…? You don’t get the privilege… full suit if you insist!”
“I insist.”
“Do you always need to be in my space? This is going to be a long visit.”
“But an amazing one.”
* * *
Recording:
&
nbsp; Client’s needs met and agreed upon. Will send renegotiations as soon as possible, expect delivery.
If she signs these five new papers.
Right now, she doesn’t want to see my ugly face.
Alice sure can throw a wallop of a lefty.
My poor eye won’t see daylight again.
What a temperamental tornado she makes.
Recording:
In a few days tops.
This is Dillian Coleman signing out.
I sure hope Charley’s plan works, my jobs not the only one on the line.
Death by hanging, I believe were her last words.
Ouch.
Of course, anything’s more merciful then Alice the Tormenter.
I should remember the day I met her as my last rights.
I really hope this plan works, if only to stay alive.
“This is the best suit you could find Charley? It’s a little snug in the shoulders.”
“You worry too much Dillian. I know her weaknesses by heart.”
“You could always enlighten me.”
“And give away my secrets? If worse comes to worse, there’s plan B. Women like her like men straight and narrow, honest, respectable, giving and… good looking.”
“I look like a strung up turkey.”
“Hint… we’re fishing for a shark. There is one-stimulation to these plans Dillian… you tell her a word I was involved in this scheme and I’ll maroon you on the next deserted island I see…then a real shark will have fun.”
“My lips are sealed Charley.”
“Not too sealed, you might want to zap them. It makes the game more interesting. At least your eye looks less purple.”
“Why thank you Charley, I always wanted to wake up in the morning with make-up on my face.”
“It makes you look prettier.”
“Care to make a matching set, Charley?”
“Touchy. Make me proud son.”
“I’m not your son. Do I look alright?”
“Terrible.”
“And she’s staying up there?”
“Second floor, knock on the last door on the left.”
“Maybe I should bring candy too.”
“Nah, too traditional, be original, be proud, oh and Dill?”
“What?”
“Remember to smile really big when you apologize and say the exact words I told you.”
“The exact words, right… I should have a sad face though.”
“No, no. Smile. Smile really big… trust me.”
“Stop following me up the stairs Charley! I know what I’m doing.”
“Just making sure everything’s in order, I’ll wait out in the parking lot. I can see you from there.”
What does he take me for, an imbecile?
What I don’t need is a mother hen.
Sure I asked for help.
It doesn’t mean I’m completely helpless.
Here’s her door.
Take a slow breath Dillian.
This isn’t going to be easy.
Knock! Knock!
“Yes?”
“Hi Alice, I’m…”
“Who are you Mister? What business do you have to pound on my door? Be quick about it! What are you selling?”
This isn’t my Alice.
“I’m… ah… I’m sorry baby.”
“Baby?! Ray, this man just called me his baby!”
“Mister, who do you think you are calling my girl baby? She’s no man’s baby, but mine.”
“No, I… ah.”
“Dillian is that you?”
Aaah… a familiar voice.
Yep, it’s my Alice alright, blonde hair and all, right next door to this lady.
What a relief… what a wave of tribulation… I didn’t lose her on another wild goose chase again.
I only knocked on the wrong door and made a complete…
“I don’t like how you’re grinning at my girl. You have exactly three seconds to scoot out of here. One… two…”
Three seconds?
It doesn’t take three seconds to know what’s going to come next.
Anybody who knows Alice long enough knows chaos follows fast behind.
“Duck Dillian, duck!”
“Yeow!”
* * *
Aaaa, I feel exhilarated again.
What a nice, hot, steamy shower can do for one’s senses.
I feel alive again and wide awake.
Wide awake.
The next meeting’s at seven o’clock Jamie, exactly one hour from now.
Wow, time flies.
Hmm, while he’s taking his shower, I should come up with a plan to delay this meeting.
Yes, a plan is what is needed for this chaotic mess.
Hmm, he’s probably the seven minute man in getting ready.
So I don’t have much time to think this over.
What’s has quick results?
A flower vase?
Too messy.
My fists?
Not strong enough.
A rope?
Now I don’t have time to strangle the pig.
What do I have that can keep him here?
My make-up bag.
Why didn’t I think of it?
Now where is the blasted thing?!
“Hey, Jamie! You ready yet? We’re leaving in a few minutes… where’s my tie?”
“On the couch.”
“Right. Thank you. We’re just going to talk to the man Jamie, there’s no need for any of your panic attacks… I promise not to sign anything till everything’s to your satisfaction… and mine. I’m willing to bend a little you know… are you listening to me Jamie? Jamie?”
“I’m right here. Coffee?”
“Mmm, yes coffee sounds good. You look nice Jamie. Why couldn’t you wear those clothes this morning? By the way… love your legs.”
“Cream or black?”
“Hard question, I’ll take it with cream this time. Is my tie alright?”
“Hold still. I think you mess up your tie on purpose to annoy me. You should drink more water.”
“I drink plenty. Mmm, you smell good. Good enough to eat. Vanilla?”
“Aahmm. You like how I styled my hair?”
“Perfect. Keep it long Jamie.”
“Here’s your coffee. Too bad there are no Danishes or something.”
“We can pick something up at the bakery. It’s on the way.”
“Mmm, I don’t like the man Alex. He seems a little fishy.”
“We’re all a little fishy Angle, the man’s all business. He knows what’s he doing… you do remember what he said?”
“Every word.”
“Good. Fork out some paper and pens; we’ll need to compare notes. What ever is bothering you the most, write down, then we’ll discuss them. Peacefully I hope.”
“Take the last of the coffee Alex, I don’t want it.”
“You sure? This is good coffee. We should bring some with us on the boat. Charley would like this coffee. Here, sit down and write Jamie. I have a few things to sort out in my mind.”
Maybe I didn’t put enough.
He’s wound up tight as a bow string.
Of course you put enough Jamie!
I crushed three pills for him.
Maybe a man’s different. Maybe he needs more.
Personally, two pills knocks' me out in ten minutes flat.
But… seeing as he’s walking back and forth, perhaps it will work faster in his system.
If not, there’s always the flower vase.
Hmm, I think he’s winding down.
Finally.
“Jamie… are you paying attention?”
“Every minute.”
“We need to… discuss, um… your complaints with… Mr. Salvador and… is it hot in here?”
“Stand still Alex, I’ll take your jacked off.”
“Why do I need my jacket off? We’re leaving… man I’m tired.”
“Lie down on
the couch Alex. I’ll turn down the A/C.”
“Lie down? What did you do Jamie? You… did something to me… you drugged me, didn’t you?”
“Relax, that’s a good boy. I’m just going to take your shoes off.”
“You don’t fight… fair.”
“Shh. It’s something I learned from you. Relax sweet baby.”
“Lips so… sweet.”
“Sweet dreams Alex.”
Finally.
I knocked out Tarzan.
Unbelievable.
Hmm.
He’s kind of cute though, when he sleeps, he even has a dimple.
Why didn’t I notice that?
Hairs so soft… like babies’ breath.
Black as midnight.
All in all, very…
What am I thinking?
He’s the enemy Jamie, my boss.
My boss!
Oh… well… can’t take it back.
What am I going to do next?
* * *
Chapter Nine: How Sweet the Plot is
“Ouch! Stop poking my head.”
“Dillian, you’re such a baby. What were you thinking? Ray could have done more damage, like a broken nose.”
“Well Ray could have asked… people are always picking on me. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll be surprised.”
“You had no business disturbing them and calling his girl names.”
“I didn’t call her any names. It wasn’t like that at all. Alice I knocked on… well he told… it was the wrong door.”
“I agree with you there Dillian, it was the wrong door.”
“Alice, you got to believe me, nothing Alex implied is true. I truly like you.”
“Truly… like me?”
“Yes.”
“Your heads going to hurt for a while, Dillian you really need a self defense class.”
“I wouldn’t need a self defense class if you cooperated once in a while.”
“Cooperated?”
“Yes. I’m the good guy Alice, not the enemy. If you would realize this, everything would be fine.”
“Here, grab my hand Dillian.”
“Whoa there Alice, I need to get my equilibrium back. I brought flowers for you, their around here somewhere, oh… by the door.”
“Can you open my door Dillian?”
“Sure. See? There’s still one poor flower left. I know its not much Alice, but it’s the…”
Slam!
“Alice?”
Knock, knock.
“What’s the matter honey? Alice open the door…”